I'm a code monkey and I've been writing web code for over twelve years. People often think that because I work on the Web that I can fix their broken computers. Sure, I probably know how to fix them, but I would really rather not because I know that most people suck. MONKEYS RULE!
Have you ever wished that you had the confidence and charisma of the greatest Captain of the Star Fleet, James T. Kirk?
Well, tough luck. You or anyone else will never be as awesome as Captain Kirk, but now, you can at least smell like him.
According to EntertainmentEarth.com, you'll be able to order the Tiberius Cologne for men in May 2009. They describe it as "a casual yet commanding cologne spiked with freshness and sensuality."
So put down that Axe cologne and spray some Kirk on you, and start attracting bold women from places where no man has gone before.
Some lady in Orlando, Florida got pwned by her car. She called 911 because she supposedly locked herself in her car. Attached is the actual 911 call. Police say that this was not an April Fool's prank.
As someone who lives in Florida, I find this to be hillarious. I just did not believe that Floridians have reached a point in the advancement of technology that we are unable to manually operate a car door.
Have you ever had a question or problem presented to you that was way too easy or answer was so obvious that it basically screams at you?
While I was checking my Facebook account, one of those online ads that sell quick-get-rich schemes using Google popped up. This particular advert wanted to know if you wanted learn how the person pictured in the ad had quit their 9-5 job to make $10K a month using a search engine.
When I looked at the pictures on the ad, I realized something. I realized that I didn’t really need to pay a dime to figure out their secret method because it was way too obvious from the picture to see how this person makes $10K a month.
This is your Tuesday WTF. Whenever I get bored and trol around the web, I tend to find some strange and funny things while surfing the web. Here's what looks like a Japanese popping edamame keychain. (I think).
I'm sure most of you have seen Polaroid's Bluetooth portable picture printer for phones and cameras, Pogo (http://polaroid.com/pogo/us/), at your local BestBuy, Circuit City, and even Wal-marts. The idea is pretty interesting, but did anyone ever thougth about just integrating a camera into the bloody thing.
Well apparently the Japanese did. Takara Tomy's new Xiao is a combination poket-sized digital camera and photo printer (http://takaratomy.co.jp/products/xiao/). It's a neat device but what's even neater is the Japanese commercial to promote it. Apparently, the Xiao doesn't print pictures. It "poops" them out. Watch the video and see!
I was rummaging around the Internet and I found this old clip of the intro to the video game “Sticky Balls” that was released on the ill-fated Gizmondo portable gaming device. This will teach me never to rummage around the web again.
Joan was expecting a new car as a birthday present from her husband Bob, but by the end of the day she realized that he had forgotten her birthday. She left him a note the next morning saying, "When I get home from work today, I want to see something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds!"
When she arrived home and looked in the driveway she found a bathroom scale.
Joan is currently listed by police as a "person of interest" in Bob's disappearance.
Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables for you while you chop.
Avoid arguments with women about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
For high blood pressure sufferers: Simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes! Thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer to avoid a fatal outcome.
A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you'll be afraid to cough.
Most of the time, you will only need to two tools in life: WD-40 and Duct tape. Remeber theses simple rules: If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40; if it shouldn't move and does, use the Duct tape.
For more complicated projects: If you can't fix it with a hammer , you're got an electrical problem!
After much deliberation (and sake), I have come to the conclusion that to support my rice addiction I will only marry a woman if she knows how to work a rice cooker.
So ladies, head out to your favorite appliance store. Pick up a cheap rice cooker and start practicing. The key to my monkey heart is through a bowl of rice.
